NO sacrifice

Why does this page intimidate me so much?  Why does it terrify me to expose my heart, and my inner most feelings to the world?  Because I'm scared of being judged.  I'm scared of what all the other "Wimmicks" might think.  But I want to be free!!

 

I want to be free to be who God created me to be.  I want to be able to speak my mind without worrying about what everyone else thinks.  I want to be free from the fear of man.  I want to be like Jesus, who "was no respecter of persons".  He didn't celebrate when the crowd loved him.  He didn't cry when the crowd hated him.  He lived only to please His Father.  To know His Father's heart and to do His Father's business.

 

That's who I want to be. So, how do I get there? 

 

 Well, for starters, I'm going to write.  Ive been writing for years.  I have many journals full of thoughts and prayers to God. But now, I choose to be transparent.  Not because I desire to make people like me more but because maybe in the sharing, my story will help others who are also struggling.  We are so good at trying to make people think we've got it all together.  Why cant we just be real?  Wouldn't we learn so much more from each other. 

 

So, here's my first confession:

 

I have no idea what I am doing.  It's true.

 

I am 34 years old and I am trying to be a Mother to 6 kids.  I did not give birth to my 5 daughters but God chose me to be their Mother.  I am finally beginning to understand this honor that God has given me, but the responsibility still overwhelms me at times.

 

Megan and Seth's first date

The hardest thing right now is that my daughter Megan is getting married in February.  They will be moving 12 hours away from us.  I'm still trying to figure out how to handle this.  You see, she's only been mine since she was 8.  Ten years....that's it.  That's all we get with her.

 

 NOT FAIR.

 

Don't get me wrong, I would never try to hold onto her. (Although I want to). I had to convince her that it was okay to go.   She has to learn to stand on her own two feet.  I think that their moving away is actually a good idea.  In fact, I did it myself when we got married.  But that's the problem.  I'm going to do it again.  Move away.  This time to the other side of the world, and leave one of my children behind.  This is incredibly painful and feels like a major sacrifice.

 

But is it really?  No.  Not really.  Is it really a sacrifice to leave someone we love more than life, to serve our God who we love even more?  No.  It's no sacrifice.  Because He has promised us eternity together.  We will never say goodbye again.

 

I really hate goodbyes.  I've done it way too many times. I know there are many more difficult goodbyes to come but someday....someday! No more goodbyes.  EVER!  I cant wait!

 

But for now, it's 2 seconds.  I can do anything for 2 seconds.  Even let go of one of my favorite people, that I love the most.  It's gonna be worth it.  He is worth it!

www.2seconds.org
 

 

Here we go,go,go,go on an adventure....

I haven't really lived very long.  Yet I feel that I have lived, a lot.  To say that my life has consisted of living in 6 different states, losing 9 babies and trying to raise 6 kids/adults that live in my home, certainly does not do justice to the adventure that my life has become.  And what an adventure it is! Serving God is the greatest adventure.  It's what we were created for. 
 
I have finally decided that it is time to write.  Its time to share my world, this adventure that God is allowing me the privilege to enjoy, with whomever may be interested.
 
First off, two seconds.....its all we got.  In light of eternity, (which we all will definitely spend somewhere) its all the time we have. 
 
 What will you do with your two seconds? 
 
I have decided that I'm giving up mine, to the one who gave up His for me. God's word says that our life is but a vapor.  That we are like grass that is here today and gone tomorrow.  We may think that we have plenty of time to waste, but life is so much shorter and so much more important then we realize.  I don't want to waste any more time.  I believe that someday we will all stand before our Creator to give an account of how we spent our "2 seconds" here on earth.  Those 2 seconds will determine our eternal destiny. 
 
Father, you can have all of my life.  I love knowing that when I give my life to you, it will never be mundane, it will never be boring.  I will go anywhere, I will do anything.  Only be near me, let me see your face, let me hear your voice.  I am so excited for what lies ahead, because I know you are faithful.  You are so loving and good.  It is no sacrifice, only let me follow you.

www.2seconds.org